So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Vodka?
Forever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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