he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
