There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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