planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
