***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
