I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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