So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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