Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
