guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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