before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
