My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
