Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
