Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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