Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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