You're so nebulous sometimes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
