remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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