I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
