I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
