my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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