I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
