is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
