apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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