Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
