Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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