I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
