last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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