Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize