So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
