dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
