i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dont even know how to be here
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize