i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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