That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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