The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
