totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
