We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
