ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize