nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize