Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
