Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
