I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was like eating out sand paper
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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