So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
