I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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