I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
