I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
