First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
