are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
