oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize