Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
