his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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