My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
