im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
