If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
