Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
