just come out here and I will go home with you...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize