i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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