you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
