Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
