no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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