Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
