I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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