i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
