party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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