when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
