It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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