yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
