Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
