so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
