He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
