my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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