We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
