last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
